I'm in the mood to write again. I want to write something, and I have written something, but how long will it last? Hopefully, it will last through the Spring Break because I now have a lot of time. :D Yes, I have no life during Spring Break. I'm just gonna sit in front of the computer all day and get all lazy. It's going to be fun.

Well, I'm summing up this whole week in one word: sucky. Oops, that isn't a real word is it? Well, it's true. Either that or depressing. Or rather, I was depressed. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO SALA WHEN IT'S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH AGAIN! I can get so bitchy and emotional, it's so fun to laugh at after it's over. x]

Oh, but I'm feeling all better now. Today wasn't that bad except that it was very frustrating and stressful today. By the end of the day, though, the blue sky was out and for once, Jackie was glad of it. Weird, ne?

Fanime in Downtown San Jose is coming up soon, and we will for sure go! Right? Goodness, I hope so. I love seeing all the cosplayers and cosplay skits. I love the idea of cosplaying, but I honestly don't think I'd have the guts to do it. For example, I absolutely love Karin's from Naruto outfit, as seen here, especially her geek glasses, but honestly. I'd never wear something like that. I don't mind the top, but the short shorts? *snorts* Y'all know I can't do that. Still... Anyway, anyone who lives in the Bay Area should go! Cuz I said so.

I really need to find some new stories to read. Any recommendations?

And I can't wait for June 17th. I wish it could be sooner, but of course school once again interferes. But that's okay, because it will still be awesome. Hopefully, everyone will be able to come, or we can threaten them to come, and we will have a great part at Meadowfair. We should have music or something too. Looking at that site, I already know the food will be awesome (especially the dessert, yum), and of course we can't forget the water balloons. It's like a must-have. Don't worry, I'll make sure we don't fail. =]

P.S. Talking to Cookie about how high school just really sucks, makes me all sad and nostalgic again. The bad kind of nostalgic. Middle school was much better than high school. It sucks to look at reality.

Did anyone feel the earthquake in Cali last night? I did, but only because I was paranoid. I'm always paranoid and when I was sitting in my bed at 8:40 last night doing my darn History Homework, I the rooming sliding a little. But alas, I just thought it was my imagination. It usually is. Psh, then the 'Breaking News' thing comes up in the middle of AJ's song in American Idol, and there you go. It's nice to know I'm right for once. 

Speaking of American Idol, I really think America effed up. How in the world did Antonella NOT get kicked out? Oh right, it's because she's pretty, and has 'racy' pictures online. Well, we always knew American Idol was never really a true singing competitiion. (But I watch it anyway because there's nothing on at the time.)

....

Naruto: Shippuuden is now up to episode four, and I'm already tired of the flashbacks. This is why I prefer manga over anime, yakno. I think I twitched during this episode when they had to flashback Kakashi doing the Katon, Doton,  Suiton jutsus when they already showed that a few minutes ago. It makes me think that some people are just too lazy. Not that there's anything wrong with being lazy. It's just annoying sometimes... 

....

My sister and I are talking about all the freaking weird laughs I have. I have the silent laugh, the sarcastic laugh, the 'you're-effing-funny-so-here's-a-pity-laugh laugh, the 'hnnn' laugh, the crack laugh, the innocent laugh, the fake innocent laugh, the sucky evil laugh, the 'bwehehehe' laugh, etc. etc. OH! And there's also the very rare, 'OMG-I-can't-breathe-it-hurts-my-side-i-just-snorted' laugh. That could kill. :0 

....

School's no fun. I don't want to do the project for Biology. Essays for English are just tedious. Skits for Japanese just don't work if we're not given enough time. Volleyball in P.E. are giving me bruises. Gzsanka still talks a lot in  Algebra. And my grade is slowly, oh-so-slipping in History, and after today's essay...

....

It sucks when you slowly begin to lose touch with your old friends, and they slowly fade out of your life. It sucks even more when you realize that it's happening for the first time, or at least when you first admit it. How do you tell an aquaintaince that they have become a stranger? How do you tell a friend that they have become an aquaintance? How do you tell a best friend that they're now only a friend? ... For now, I'll just keep quiet. 

When all the world,
For once, is sleeping,
I wish to hear the rain
In unison with silence.

I want to feel
The pounding coolness
That painfully reminds me:
Too much skin is in the way.

My thirst calls for
Heaven's tears to sting
My parched,dry tongue 
With bittersweet salt.

I long to breathe in 
The crisp, moist air
That we can no longer find
In our heavy, suffocating world.

But I can only dream.
I realize such light waterfalls
Will never drown away or hide
My flaws from this so-called reality.

And so, until the night
The world will fall asleep,
I cry out here, in the rain,
Waiting for my dreams to come,

Even though I know it never will.

Today a raindrop fell in my eye,
And that made me mad.
They always told me not to cry,
And they beat me when I did.
As the years trickled into our lives,
I feared and hated all emotions.
It only lead to pain.
Defined as tears of grief, of anger, of joy,
There were no differences to me or them.
All acids burn, be it through paper
Or through the hardest rocks.
Painfully, I learned how not to cry.

Now, they, tell me that it is okay:
"There's nothing wrong with crying,
So go ahead and let them flow."
This just confuses me.
Who am I to believe?
Do I stay loyal to my supposed loved ones
Who called me a coward, a baby, and beat me?
Do I turn to the ones who had gained my trust,
The ones who comfort me, calmed me, took me in?
Which side would best understand when I turn to the other?
That day till forever, I keep my face dry.
Because pain is always stronger than trust.

It's funny though, because even when I stood
So still next to my dying father's bed -
That cold-hearted bastard
Who took my treasures away from me -
I could only stare, no tears.
Should there be any?
They certainly thought so, and I frightened them
With the emptiness and composure
That the one who needed my tears the most
taught me himself. My fault or his own?
They told me never to cry again and I listened.
My eyes just won't produce its milk. What am I?

That was the closest I had ever got to crying
When that raindrop fell into my eye.
And that made me mad;
Tears were not meant for me.
Does that make me strong?
Or am I just pathetic?